Weekend Words - It's About Forgiveness

       As I’ve grown older I have learned that the least beneficial of human behaviors is our tendency to harbor grudges against those who do us wrong. It never ceases to amaze me how otherwise very intelligent people will give up their entire being to another person because they will not let go of their bad feelings towards that person. 

       I have made this same mistake myself many times in my past. It hasn’t happened as much lately, though, because I realized the secret to freeing myself from these unnecessary burdens. It really starts with truly forgiving the other individual. This is not an easy thing to do, and in order to get there we have to see things “sono mama” – a Japanese phrase meaning to see something as it truly is. 

       Getting to that point requires us to look at both sides of our disagreement, remove the emotion and accept the other person’s point of view. Then we have to truly forgive that person. I find that when I really look at things from the other person’s point of view I usually come away with a much better understanding of why they took the actions or said the things that they did. Once you can see the situation for what it really is and forgive the person, then (and only then) will you finally have peace from the bad feelings that have burdened you. As it is said quite often: “the truth will set you free.”

       A friend of mine recently spoke at his 12-year-old daughter’s school about the importance of forgiveness. He’s an accomplished public speaker who has frequently spoken before large crowds of professionals. Yet he became emotional while giving a speech for the first time ever, as he recounted to his daughter’s class the story of the 2006 school shooting at an Amish school in Lancaster, PA. 10 girls, close in age to the girls in his daughter’s class, were shot; five of them died. But the message my friend focused on was the response of the Amish community to this terrible tragedy, and how quickly they forgave the culprit. In the Amish culture, he said, people are taught at an early age that to be forgiven you must forgive. 

       Take your life back today. Stop focusing on the negative things from your past. Let go of your grudges and bad feelings, and truly forgive. I think you will find, as I have, that forgiveness gives you far more benefits than any grudge or thirst for revenge ever could. 

Have a great weekend,

Ro