Weekend Words - The Number One Gift for Your Kids This Christmas

   

        Many years ago, when my daughter Grace was just learning to read, I used to sit next to her sometimes and listen to her sounding out the words. Without fail on the nights that I listened to her she would turn to me afterward and say, “Thanks Daddy. I love you.” Man, that put me on cloud nine every time she said it. 

       As she progressed into her teenage years our conversations stagnated. When I asked her questions, her answers were short and clipped, and seemed to always contain some variation of “Yeah, okay, whatever.” Around this time I read an article in the Washington Post about an author who had just won the Pulitzer Prize. He talked about how big of an influence his father had been in his life. Every day after working long hours at a blue-collar job, the author’s father would ask him, “What did you learn today?” The author knew he would have to have an answer ready, because his father would listen to what he told him and comment on it. I decided to try asking my daughter this question. After all, what did I have to lose? The result shocked me. Her answers were detailed and insightful, and covered a wide range of topics. Not only did our conversations become more animated and interesting, I also learned a lot from listening to her! 

       Now that she is an adult, our conversations flow smoothly. It is not uncommon for us to spend an hour after dinner discussing various topics, from the latest political news to the state of the Redskins to the books we are currently reading. I don’t need to ask her that question anymore to prompt a thoughtful response. But in preparation for writing this week’s words, I tried asking Grace that question one day after she came home from work. It produced the same great results, and she even managed to surprise herself with the things she had learned about herself, her job and her co-workers. 

       Many of you may remember the words I wrote for Father’s Day 2010, about my own father. He was a great listener with all five of his kids, especially when we most needed him to listen to us. I can’t think of a better gift that a parent could give their kids this holiday season than taking the time to really listen to them.

       This is my last “Weekend Words” until the New Year, so I want to take this opportunity to wish all of my readers a wonderful holiday and thank you for making this the best year ever for Ro’s Words of Encouragement. I count myself fortunate to have one of the best and brightest audiences in the country, and I am very grateful for your support. I tell people that readers like you make my job easy, sharing your stories, insights and inspirational material with me. This year saw my audience expand and brought some exciting changes, including the creation of the Ro’s Words of Encouragement blog. I can’t wait to see what the next year will bring! 

       “Happy Holidays!” from myself and the Ro’s Words of Encouragement staff. 

See you in 2011,

Ro

Weekend Words - Falling Down, Rising Up and Gaining Redemption

       Congratulations to Coach Ralph Friedgen of the Maryland Terrapins for completing one of the biggest turnarounds in all of college football this season. He took his team from a 2-10 record last year to an 8-4 record this year, earning the team a berth in the Military Bowl and Coach Friedgen the ACC Coach of the Year award. 

       In a recent Washington Post article Ralph talked about the importance of perseverance. “Kids today…the hardest thing for them to learn is perseverance,” Friedgen [said]. “And I think it’s the most important thing to learn in life. If you can persevere, if you can take blows, get back up, go back to work, you know, wait for your opportunity, it will come around when you’re ready.”[i]

 

       Later in the article, Ralph mentioned that his father went “old school” on him when Ralph considered transferring away from Maryland during his years as a student athlete. When Ralph called his father to tell him about his plans, his father’s response was, “Great. But your key’s not going to fit in the door when you come home.” Ralph asked what his father was talking about. His father responded, “I don’t have quitters who live in my house.” 

       We’ve talked a lot lately about the glory of undefeated seasons. These undefeated seasons are fantastic, but the truth is we find out more about ourselves during the losing seasons, when we can see how we handle adversity. Our society glorifies winning so much that we seem to have lost respect for the values of hard work and perseverance. I believe that we should encourage our young people to take more chances, knowing that taking more chances means risking failure more often, but also knowing the potential value of that failure. 

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” 

– Confucius 

       Many of you have children or grandchildren. The below quote is a great one to share with them about the power of persistence. I got it from the front page of Marv Levy’s Buffalo Bills playbook. Marv coached the Bills to 4 consecutive Super Bowl appearances, the only coach in history to have accomplished this feat. Despite his team’s tremendous efforts to get to the big game, they didn’t win a single one of those four Super Bowls. Imagine the type of fortitude, poise and courage it took to come back after each of those huge losses to continue his quest for the biggest prize in football. For his perseverance and dedication I consider Marv a big winner even though his team never won the Super Bowl. His peers obviously considered him a winner too, electing him to the Professional Football Hall of Fame in 2001. 

            “Nothing the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

– Calvin Coolidge, 30^th President of the United States 

        

Have a great weekend,

Ro

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[i] Wise, Mike. “Maryland Should Be Ashamed for Trying to Get Rid of Friedgen.” The Washington Post 20 Nov 2010. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/19/AR2010111905877.html?sid=ST2010111907304

The Spirit of a Runner

    Recently I got to read a great article about distance running by author Christopher McDougall, published in one of the New York Times' blogs. A story in the article caught my eye, and I thought I would share it with my readers. Here is an excerpt:

    “But when I looked at today’s marathoners, I didn’t see a pack of brothers and sisters pulling together. I didn’t see communal spirit. I saw isolated, iPod-ed individualists more interested in their Garmins than each other. I saw commercial greed and egotistical obsessions over fractions of a minute.
    And then I saw Derartu Tulu.
    When she entered last year’s New York City marathon, Ms. Tulu was a 37-year-old has-been from Ethiopia who hadn’t won a marathon in eight years. Months earlier, she’d decided to retire. She hadn’t competed for two years after nearly dying in childbirth and was coming to realize she’d never regain the form that sped her to an Olympic gold medal nearly two decades before. But the limits of her aging body were complicated by the demands of a tender heart; in addition to her own two children, she’d adopted four orphans, and one last payday could guarantee her family’s security for a long time. She decided to go for it.
    Unfortunately, so did the most formidable female marathoner in history: Paula Radcliffe, the world-record holder and three-time New York City champion. “Lean and mean,” the race announcers said in awe as they watched Ms. Radcliffe rocket off the starting line. “All the other athletes are so intimidated by this great champion. She’s the sharp end of this spear.”
    But at mile 22 something strange happened, followed by something even stranger. Ms. Radcliffe grimaced and fell back. Her left hamstring had seized. It was the chance of a lifetime for Ms. Tulu — and she blew it. Instead of blazing toward the finish, she let the lead pack pass while she stopped and waited for Ms. Radcliffe.
    “Come on,” she urged the lean, mean spear tip. “We can do it.”
    Ms. Radcliffe tried, but her hamstring wouldn’t release. Ms. Tulu finally set off on her own. Somehow, she caught back up with the lead pack, and then the under-underdog blew past in the final quarter-mile to snap the tape. It’s among the most awe-inspiring performances I’ve ever seen, and to this day, I still don’t understand exactly what happened.
     The best I can come up with is this: Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that one of the most compassionate people on the streets that day was also the most competitive. The greatness of spirit which urged her to watch for every faltering orphan, to keep the pack together, also gave her the strength to lead it.”

Read the full article here: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/04/born-to-run-the-marathon/

-Ro  

Weekend Words - "Men, You Will Remember This Day for the Rest of Your Lives."

         Recently I had lunch with a fellow Virginia Tech Hokie Football alumnus, Stuart Plank. His brother, Kevin Plank, is the founder of the athletics apparel company Under Armour. 

         Stu is a muscular, physically imposing man who despite the cold had donned an Under Armour golf shirt. As soon as we sat down for lunch he started talking intensely about something that was on his mind. Waving his hands to accentuate his point, he asked me if in all my years of playing and coaching football I had ever gone undefeated. I told him no. Had I ever been on a championship team? Yes, in fact, I had. I started to ask where this was going, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Had I ever been on a championship team that had also been undefeated? Nope. He said that fact didn’t surprise him, since that feat is so rarely accomplished. 

        Standing now he continued, arms flailing, voice rising: “In the history of the National Football League only one team has done it, the 1973 Miami Dolphins. Another team almost did it [the 2007 New England Patriots went 16-0 but lost the Super Bowl], but does anyone talk about them? I don’t think so.” Pausing to gather himself, he leaned across the table and asked, “How am I supposed to get a bunch of 9-year-olds to understand this?”

         Stu went on to explain that he was coaching his son’s pee-wee football team this season, and they were undefeated and would be playing for the championship the following weekend. We both agreed they would remember this season and the championship game for the rest of their lives, but Stu wasn’t sure if they would be able to grasp the magnitude of their achievements. 

         I told Stu how I played on a team that won the 130-pound Catholic Youth Organization championship two years in a row. When I go to the Giant supermarket by my mother’s house in Leisure World there is an older gentleman cashier who never fails to ask me if that championship team was the best CYO team ever. I just wink at him and say, “Absolutely.” 

         While at my younger brother’s house for the Thanksgiving holidays I got a chance to read an old newspaper clipping that my mother had brought by to show everyone. It was about my brother’s St. Andrews 70-pound undefeated team that had won the CYO championship more than 40 years ago. He was mentioned as a key player on their stellar defense. 

         I asked my brother what he remembered about that championship season so long ago. He said all he remembered was how special it felt. Through fourteen more years playing football and later rugby at the college level, he never again experienced that unique feeling of being undefeated at the end of a championship season. 

         Stu’s team went on to win their “Super Bowl.” After the game he delivered a speech about how the players “will remember this day the rest of your lives.” He said during his speech there were a lot of blank stares from the youngsters, but he looked in the back of the room and noticed the parents getting emotional and knew that they understood the importance of what the team had achieved. In time, he realized, so would the young men who were responsible for that feat. One day his statement would resonate with the team as well.

         I would like to give a special thank you to Kelly Engle for forwarding my “Remember November” words to the Good Counsel Falcons football team. They gave us all a November to remember by outscoring their final three opponents 128-3. Their final game was a 42-3 victory in the championship game over rival Dematha High School. 

        Thanks also to Stu Plank for sharing his experiences with me and allowing me to share them with you. Congratulations to Stu and his team on their “Super Bowl” victory! 

Have a great weekend,

Ro 

Welcome!

        “Ro’s Words of Encouragement” originated as a weekly e-mail message designed to inspire people to get through the difficult economic times we faced over the last few years. Gradually it has shifted to focus on encouraging and inspiring people in all aspects of their lives. I am still distributing it via e-mail, but now I am expanding into a blog as well.

        Through my background in college football as a player and coach, and my experiences as a top-producing commercial real estate broker, I offer a unique background and perspective for my readers. I will share with you resources from all of the people I have had the privilege to work with in both professions. From the colorful coaching tales and the stressful world of corporate America you will gain the insight and perspective to help you adjust your attitude, elevate yourself, feel better mentally and physically, laugh, cry, and reflect. I guarantee you won’t regret it. 

        As a coach I once recruited a young man from inner-city Baltimore. His family and friends threw a big party at his apartment to celebrate when he signed on to come play football at our school. The centerpiece of the celebration was a cake, which had a wonderful message written on it. 

        That simple message has remained one of my favorites, and is the first “word of encouragement” I will share with you here:

“Don’t stop ‘til you hit the top!”

-Ro